I was talking to my gay boyfriend earlier tonight, having our usual bitch fest.  I live by the fact that every girl needs a gay best friend and I happen to have a fantastic one.

He wanted to know the “machete” story.  To him, BP is known purely as “Machete” or “Cheesehead kid.” So I told him and he too laughed at my expense.  Then he interjected with, “Ohhh, I have someone I want you to meet…but I don’t know if he’s your type.”  So I asked who it was and what he was like.  He told me his name and I remembered him telling me a story about this kid, but couldnt remember what it was.  Then he told me he want to UNC, so I was thinking “ok…thats good.” Then it hit me, “Wait a second, isn’t this the kid who cheated on that paper at UNC and got kicked out.”  It was.  “Ok, thats strike one. what else does he do?”

The GB hesitated and was like “ok… well he has depression and social anxiety….and well he plays this computer game all the time called..w…” I cut him off before he could finished and yelled, “He plays WOW? I’m not meeting him sorry.”   Why he thought someone with social anxiety and depression would be good for me, I don’t know.  But the WOW factor.  mmmm NO!  I already had one relationship suffer from WOW. I will never ever even go on a date with another WOW player again. I will not be turned down for sex because of WOW again.

Then I told him I ran into one of his friends that screwed him over recently and how I told this kid off for him.  GB then went off and started saying how all Greenville guys are trash.  This time I interjected, “You do not have to tell me that.  I live here, I deal with it daily.  They are all disgusting.”

And here’s few more examples proving my point:

Tonight, me, neighbor, D (from the feather story) and her best friend all went to 519.  We got there early to miss the cover and get bar seats.  Within minutes we got attacked by the Miller Lite girls, the ones I was supposed to go apply with and forgot, and covered in Miller Lite garb.  This random guy, dressed like a fratty to the nines, comes over to D and best friend and starts talking to them. I was surprised they knew someone that fratastic.  Turns out, they didn’t.  He walks away and harasses others.  He comes back, flicking off girls who walked by and proceeds to BITE D on the shoulder.  Hard enough to leave a mark.  Then he bites the Best friend.  He then wraps his arms around me and D and talks nonsense to us.  I put my beer down and told him to “stop fucking touching me.” Eventually after he bit a few more girls and no one would claim him as a friend, we got him kicked out.

When we finally decided to give up our bar seats and track down the ONLY attractive person we saw in the bar, a few guys stopped neighbor to compliment her on her hair.  She stopped and talked and we were just about to start pushing our way through the crowd when one boy asked, “Can I lick it?”  D immediately pulled her away and we walked through all the dancing girls.  What? Why on earth would someone want to lick someone’s hair?

I need to leave now.  It’s all becoming too much. I’m waiting for someone to come out and say its all been this strange science experiment, thanks for participating.  The amount of trash that consumes this town is unbelievable.  Six more months is unbearable.  And I’ve wondered why I’ve been depressed…ITS GREENVILLE.